Holy Week: a time to choose


Palm Sunday

As Holy Week moves along,palm-sunday-crosses-6 the Franciscans of Life are also moving right along with the liturgy and the celebration of the paschal mysteries.  The week began with the liturgy of Passion Sunday (Palm Sunday).  The brothers attended  the liturgy as family.  It was a very moving day for us, especially for those brothers who had never seen the liturgy of Palm Sunday in the Ordinary Form.  The beauty and solemnity of the liturgical celebration removed any doubt that the Ordinary Form can raise the heart and  mind to God as much as the Extraordinary Form.  In both, Christ does his part.  It is up to us to do our part.  The young men and women from LifeTeen reenacted the Lord’s passion as the Gospel was read. We were impressed to see how prayerful the kids looked and how well they memorized the many lines in the Gospel reading.  Of course the priest and the deacon helped out during the reading.

Meet Our New Postulant

Monday night was a very special night for the fraternity.  We received a new postulant, Alberto Emilio Rodriguez.  Alberto joined us as an aspirant several months ago.  He is the product of a solid Catholic home and

Alberto está a punto de comenzar el discernimiento

Postulant Alberto Rodriguez, FFV

Catholic education.  We thank his parents and the Marist Brothers for their investment in Alberto.  Postulant Alberto is active in the community, especially in youth retreats.  As a student the only thing we can say is that he is brilliant.  He was accepted by three leading universities in the United States, all of which offered him full scholarships.

Lazaro Rodriguez (father), Postulant Alberto, Br. Jay and Br. Luis sign the registry after Alberto is received as a posulant

However, Alberto has decided to study in Miami and form with the Franciscans of Life.  He has responded to what Jesus said to his apostles at the Last Supper when he washed their feet:

14 Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet. 15 I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. 16 Very truly I tell you, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. 17 Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them. (John 13:14-16).

As we have said, he is academically gifted, speaks two languages, is the class president at his school, has been a retreat speaker and altar server, is an excellent drummer and an aeronautics aficionado.  Most important, he is a man of great faith and a deep prayer life.

New Secular Franciscan of Life

We have also received a new brother as novice for the Secular Franciscans of Life, Brother Luis Charbel.

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Br. Luis Charbel, FFV was received as a novice at St. Maximilian Kolbe Chapel.

Br. Bernardo di Carmine and his mother, Mrs. Angela Torres

 

Brother Bernardo Di Carmine delivered a beautiful reflection during solemn vespers when Luis was received.

Luis is originally from Colombia.  He and his wife have made Miami their home along with their beautiful eight children.  Luis came to us driven by the Holy Spirit.  He has always experienced an attraction to the spirit of St. Francis.  His children serve the poor in a Franciscan ministry.  However, Luis had never done anything about his craving for Francis of Assisi and his way of life until he saw an article about Project Joseph, which the Franciscans of Life operate for Respect Life Ministry Archdiocese of Miami.  Docile to the Holy Spirit, he responded to Christ’s challenge to the apostles during his Passover with them:

12 Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these. (Jn 14:12).

"Louis-ix" by El Greco - Transferred from en.wikipedia; transferred to Commons by User:Sfan00_IMG using CommonsHelper.Author: Original uploader was Uri at en.wikipedia. 2003-07-01 (original upload date). Licensed under Public Domain via Wikimedia Commons - http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Louis-ix.jpg#/media/File:Louis-ix.jpg

St. Louis IX by El Greco

Like Alberto, Luis is also a man of profound faith and prayer.  His patron saints are Saint Louis King of France, the patron of the Third Order of St. Francis, and Saint Charbel Makhluf, Maronite monk and hermit, known for his intense life of prayer and asceticism.  Luis couldn’t have picked better patron saints.

Saint Louis IX was a contemporary of Saint Francis of Assisi and king of France.  He is one of the earliest secular brothers in the Franciscan family, a faithful husband and the father of eleven children.

Saint Charbel Makhlouf, O.L.M. The Wonder Worker

Saint Charbel was Maronite monk and hermit at the Monastery of Saint Maron where he lived a life of severe asceticism.  For those who may not understand the term asceticism, it has little to do with corporal penances and much to do with the practice of the virtues.  As an ascetic, Saint Charbel disciplined his mind and body to conform to the virtues of Christ and his Blessed Mother.

Like Saint Charbel, Luis has a very personal relationship with the Immaculate and recently completed his consecration to Mary in the Kolbe tradition.

Holy Week: time to reach out

John’s Gospel tells us that after Jesus had finished the Last Supper and had washed his disciples’ feet he said to them

“Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”  (Jn 15:12b-17).

Holy Week is the perfect time to reflect on our universal vocation:  the perfection of love. It’s a time to examine what we do and who we are, keeping in mind the precedence of being over doing.

Jesus calls us friends, for that is our universal vocation.  He has loved us enough to call us his friends.  Brothers Alberto and Luis have taken the leap of faith.  Christ chose and extended his hand from the cross in friendship.  Like Saint Francis of Assisi, they responded.

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Published in: on April 1, 2015 at 5:48 PM  Leave a Comment  

True and charitable obedience — pleasing to God and neighbor


Pope Francis and Franciscans of the Immaculate

Pope Francis and Franciscans of the Immaculate

It seems that these days everyone wants to gripe and whine about the pope, bishops, and the synod on the family, the Traditional Latin Mass (TLM) or the Mass of Paul VI (Novus Ordo).  Then there are such subjects as abortion, same-sex marriage, contraception, divorce, remarriage and Holy Communion and women’s ordination.

Yesterday, I saw another article claiming that Pope Francis has done great harm to Summorum Pontificum, the document written by Pope Benedict clarifying that the Tridentine form of the mass for the Roman Rite was changed a bit by Pope St. John XXIII, but never abrogated.  The gist of this complaint is that allegedly Pope Francis told the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate that they may not celebrate the Tridentine Form without asking for specific permission to do so.  To some people, this is a form oppression and a violation of law.

To get past this point, let’s clarify that the Franciscans of the Immaculate were never founded to be a Traditional Latin Mass (TLM) community.  When they were founded, the Mass of Paul VI or Novus Ordo was the ordinary form of the mass for the Latin Church.  Secondly, Summorum Pontificum clearly states that the superior general alone can make rules about who and when the TLM is celebrated in public or in community, but he must make these rules in keeping with the proper laws of his institute.  This means that he must look at the constitutions of his institute and see what they say about the older rite and the newer rite, if they say anything at all.  In most cases the constitutions do not speak to this point, because they were written before this became a hot question.  Therefore, there is nothing in proper law that allows a superior permission to make the Extraordinary Form of the mass (TLM) to become the norm for his community.  The question needs to be put on the table to the community to vote on.  Once the community votes on it, the Holy See must approve the change that is to be made to the constitutions.

Let’s remember that the Franciscans of the Immaculate, like any other religious community owe obedience to the Holy Father.  At the end of the day, the Holy Father is the legitimate superior general of every institute in the Catholic Church, because he alone exercises universal jurisdiction.    Therefore, we cannot accuse the pope of overstepping his boundaries or of abusing power.  If you have the power to do something or to prohibit something and you make use of it, how can it be an abuse?

Some will argue that the pope cannot use his power to do harm.  This is true.  No one can use power to do harm.  Power is given to us for the common good.  There are times when we use power with the intention of doing something good and somewhere in the process something goes wrong and the end result hurts more than it helps.  This was not the intention of the person exercising the power.  This was the result of many random acts that were against the idea in the first place.    In this case, one can say that the end result was that the lay faithful who were benefiting from the TLM celebrated by the priests of the Franciscans of the Immaculate no longer had that benefit.  Obviously, they were hurt by Pope Francis’ decision to stop the TLM among the Franciscans of the Immaculate.  Did the Pope intend to hurt these folks?  I don’t think so.  He intended to put out a fire within the Franciscans of the Immaculate.

This does not mean that the TLM is prohibited or that the Franciscans of the Immaculate are being suppressed.  It means that people who had come to depend on the Franciscans of the Immaculate to provide a TLM mass have to look elsewhere, which is an inconvenience.    In fairness to the Pope and to the friars, this congregation was never founded for the explicit purpose of celebrating the mass in the Extraordinary Form (TLM Form).  The congregation’s mission is to walk the Gospel in the footsteps of St. Maximilian Kolbe and St. Francis of Assisi under the protection and patronage of the Immaculate.

Did something go wrong?  Yes.  I don’t know what went wrong.  I’m not a member of that community.  I can see what’s going wrong outside of the community.  Pope Benedict XVI started an investigation into the Franciscans of the Immaculate, not Pope Francis.  Pope Francis inherited it, but almost everyone blames Pope Francis for it.  Like most popes, Pope Francis is not too enthusiastic about people using the mass for their political battles.  Therefore he restricts the permission to use the Tridentine Form to those who have specific permission to use it.  He never said that it could not be used.  He said that one must ask first.

Whatever Summorum Pontificum says about what priest can celebrate the Extraordinary Form of the mass, we cannot forget that the Motu Proprio does not bind the pope, including the one who wrote it, much less the pope who succeeds him.  He is free to abrogate it, edit it and interpret it.  It is not up to us to tell the pope what he can or cannot do with law.

Boniface VIII in “Constit.” reminds us that the sovereign pontiff is the most fruitful source of . . . law; he can abrogate . . . legislate to the whole Church or part thereof, a country, or a given body of individuals . . . he is not legally obliged to obtain the consent of any other persons and his power is limited only by Divine law.

Another important point here is that this is a situation between a pope and a religious community of Pontifical Right.  Meaning . . . that the pope is the highest ranking superior, above whom there is no appeal and who has absolute authority over the religious community.  He need not speak ex cathedra to be obeyed.  If we look at the writings of St. Francis, he promises obedience to the Bishop of Rome, commands that all the brothers obey him and his canonically elected successors for all time.  In essence, Francis binds everyone to obey the pope, regardless of the matter involved, except sin.  To put it more bluntly, it’s not for any of us, outside of the Franciscans of the Immaculate, to demand to know what happens within the community or to speak as if we had the authority to make a judgment on a situation that does not fall under our jurisdiction.

We must not lose sight of the fact that the good brothers have not asked us for our help, comments, opinions and interventions.  These are well educated men, free to ask for help if they need it, and who have a good understanding of how the legal system in the Church works, should they choose to make use of it.  Instead, it seems that they have chosen to apply one of our Seraphic Father’s admonitions.

The Lord says in the Gospel: he “that doth not renounce all that he possesses cannot be” a “disciple “and “he that will save his life, shall lose it.”  That man leaves all he possesses and loses his body and his soul who abandons himself wholly to obedience in the hands of his superior, and whatever he does and says—provided he himself knows that what he does is good and not contrary to his [the superior’s] will—is true obedience. And if at times a subject sees things which would be better or more useful to his soul than those which the superior commands him, let him sacrifice his will to God, let him strive to fulfil the work enjoined by the superior. This is true and charitable obedience which is pleasing to God and to one’s neighbor.

 

Published in: on March 7, 2015 at 3:30 PM  Comments (2)  

“Good night, son!”


“Pax et bonum”! I am very happy to wish you a blessed new year and to share with you the highlights of my first week of postulancy in residence at the Franciscans of Life motherhouse. I hope you like it!

It has been great to begin my residency during the Christmas season.

In retrospective, I can see I experienced both the great solemnity of the Nativity and the secular “holiday” of New Year as times of “glad tidings”, of a new beginning, as well as a reminder that Christ lives. “My mother and my brothers are those who hear the word of God and act on it”, says the Lord. And St. Paul, who was no “forgetful listener”, would say: “I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me”.

In short: this first week was for me the time to welcome the birth of Christ in my heart and embrace Him in my brothers.

Nativity and Christmas tree

Arriving to the motherhouse was not a new experience, but this time it took a whole new aspect. I wasn’t just visiting. I was at home, now.

After settling in, I was invited to go to evening mass at the nearby parish of St Boniface. It felt great to begin this way. As Brother Jay always reminds us, “everything begins at the beginning”. I was very happy to attend this mass with my brothers and to pray Vespers with them afterwards, before the Blessed Sacrament.

This would be the first “in residence” taste of the fraternal liturgical life. Little did I know (I say this with great joy!) that this would become the “heart and soul”of my daily life of love!

The life in fraternity is “in common” in many ways. We strive to serve one another and to meet each other’s needs. We all seek to love and be loved, and in the life of the regular brothers we are always attentive to each other’s needs for spiritual support, safety, and affection.

The common life is also very practical. Our community embraces early Franciscan poverty in which the brothers did not just share common property. We simply have what is strictly necessary.  For this purpose, Father Superior worked right away on the motherhouse weekly schedule to meet the needs of a postulant student brother and assure that I can continue my formation while pursuing my first doctoral degree – all the while living the peaceful and joyful life of penance of the Franciscans of Life.

schedule

My days begin at the “cella” (pronounced like “shell”), where I sleep “at a pillow’s distance” from Father Superior. It is always a joyful experience, as we encounter one another in awakening and, shortly afterwards, our Lord in the prayer of Lauds.

Due to the diminute size of the “cella”, the brothers must take turns; one brother takes care of the beds while the other lights the candles at our little prayer table, before the icon of the Immaculate and the crucifix of San Damiano. It is here that we keep the prayer intentions entrusted to us.  On one day in which my turn came around for the latter and I was particularly sleepy, I recalled the words of an earlier liturgical reading: “Awake, sleeper!”. For a moment, I thought I could feel the Lord’s eyes on me…but when I turned around, I realized it was Father’s glance! “Are you done waking up, or do you need a hand?” 🙂

looking

Having warmed up the soul with prayer, we take care of the rest with breakfast (and, not uncommonly, some laughter!) On more than one occasion I “showcased my cooking skills” by preparing some awesome toasts with coffee (although I ought to admit that the greater merit goes to the new toaster oven that we recently received from a kind benefactor).

toasts

What happens in the mornings depends on the daily schedule.

Most weekdays we coordinate our schedules for academics and apostolate, and we often share the community car by planning our daily trip accordingly. Several days, however, the morning begins with a formation class in topics such as spiritual theology, sacred liturgy, and Franciscan studies.

Saturday is dedicated in a particular way to prayer and to taking care of the motherhouse. Once a month, we dedicate it to a full day of prayer and recollection. This week, however, was my opportunity to “brush up” my broom and mop skills 😉

mopping

Sunday is our family day. Usually, we begin the day by going to the nearby parish of St. Maximilian Kolbe to attend mass.

Once a month, however, we also travel to Miami, to the mission of Sts. Francis and Clare, where I serve as acolyte for the local Latin Mass Community. While we worship in community in the Ordinary Form of the Roman Rite, Father Superior and the brothers know that I have been an E.F. altar server for several years with great joy and to my spiritual benefit. They have kindly accommodated for me to be able to continue to do so without turning the extraordinary into the norm.

The weekday afternoon usually includes some free time for spiritual reading, private prayer, a walk around the lake, and (for me, in a special way) time for homework. This doesn’t mean I am “off the hook” for an afternoon formation class, however! 🙂

Saturday afternoon is often the occasion to buy the necessary groceries for the week and take care of the needs of our lovely companions Max and Tasha.

max_and_tasha

On Family Day, it is not uncommon to spend the afternoon at a nearby park, alternating times of prayerful contemplation to times of joy and fun.

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The evening is usually marked by attending daily Mass followed by Vespers, in turn followed by supper.

Something beautiful happens on Monday evenings, as the regular and secular brothers gather for the weekly “chapter”. This is one of my favorite experiences of our fraternity life – to welcome all the brothers and be welcomed with a warm embrace, and then pray Vespers together, receive formation, plan our joint efforts in our common service to the voiceless, and also share weekly experiences.

It is written: “How good and how pleasant it is, when brothers dwell together as one!” This is exactly what I experience at our “family meetings”, as the secular brothers, who are husbands and fathers, enrich us with the experience of a Catholic family life, and at the same time allow us to share with them the fruits of peace and good that we find in the celibate life in community.

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At the end, Father Superior sends the secular brothers back to their families with a warm embrace. This is a very moving moment, but it is also a reminder that I must retreat to the “cella”, for this evening is the time for the regular brothers to have the Chapter of Faults. The regular brothers recollect, as Father Superior enters the cell and sits quietly. One by one, we “come into the light, that our deeds may be manifested”.

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When my turn comes, I kneel before Father Superior, entrusting myself to his justice and mercy, and opening myself to my brothers, as I accuse myself of my faults against the Holy Rule and our Constitutions. After receiving Father Superior’s firm but gentle correction, I prostrate before the Crucified Lord and, arms outstretched, I recite my Confiteor. As I hear Father’s words “Arise, in the name of the Lord”, and I sit down amidst my brothers, I have the unshakable certainty that despite my limitations, my Superior and my brothers still love me. As Brother Leo steps forward, I glance at the eyes of the Crucified. Those eyes, and the peace in my heart, are enough to make me wish to leap for joy. But I remain recollected, as I recall the words of our Holy Father St. Francis: “Let us begin, for up to now we have done nothing.”

The night finishes with a visit to His Majesty, who in the Blessed Sacrament awaits for us at the St. Francis chapel of a nearby parish.

Before walking into the chapel, Father Superior guides us through a review of our day. This is one of the most meaningful times of the day for me, as I can rejoice at the good experiences of the day and analyze missed opportunities to encounter and serve Christ, in order to see what got in the way and what can I do better.

After a time of adoration, we lift our cowls and we let the words of Compline echo silently before His face: “Lord, now you let your servant go in peace…”.

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We return to the motherhouse and retreat into our “cella”, our beloved cloister. Lights go off. I lay down in bed “and sleep comes at once”. It’s been a good day, I tell myself. The night is silent. I thank God for the present moment, for the love, and for the gift of a life of penance in service to the voiceless.

And just as I am about to fall asleep, a pillow hits me. “Good night, son!”

Br. Bernardo, FFV

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Published in: on January 15, 2015 at 1:34 PM  Leave a Comment  

As He is in the light . . .


Brother & TashaThe Franciscans of Life have had an exciting week.  It all began with Brother Bernardo arriving at the mother house on Sunday and Brother Leo Belanger on Monday.  Both are in different stages of formation, but in formation nonetheless.  It is exciting to watch our little family grow.  We began with two brothers, of WP_20141201_004which only one has persevered.  But today there are many more of us.  With the grace of God, more will follow.

Brother Jay attended mass in the Extraordinary Form at the Mission Chapel Sts. Francis and Clare, the patriarch and matriarch of the Franciscan family.  Contrary to francis and clarewhat some extreme Traditionalist bloggers are saying about Franciscans, the people at the mission were very happy to see two Franciscans in  the congregation.  They were very gracious and welcoming.  Some thanked Father Superior for allow the brothers to attend the TLM.

We don’t attend mass in the extraordinary form as the norm.  Our constitutions are very clear,

That which is extraordinary cannot be imposed on the brothers, nor may the brothers choose to make it the norm.  The brothers are bound to think with the Church.  As long as this form is extraordinary, the brothers shall make use of it as such.  

However, the constitution is very clear that there is no prohibition on the brothers attending the mass in the old form, as long as every brother in the house agrees to attend.  Liturgy is central to the fraternal life. On Sunday, the Lord gifted us with a very nice liturgy and many new friends.  I think WP_20140819_035that we will be going back to visit Saints Francis and Clare Mission, especially because we have brothers who are attached to the Latin Mass Community and to the TLM.  Currently, the plan is to attend once a month.  Plans are never written in stone.  It can be more or less frequently in the future.  Man proposes and God disposes.

On Monday night, the secular and the regular brothers gathered at St. Maximilian Kolbe Catholic Church in Pembroke Pines for the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception where we celebrated a beautiful mass in the Ordinary Form.  At the end of mass, Rev. Giovanni Peña, Vicar at St. Maxx, blessed the Miraculous Medals and the brothers, after Brother Jay had led them in the consecration to the Immaculate, as prescribed by St. Maximilian Kolbe.

Miraculous Medal II

It was a beautiful event.  There were professed brothers present, novices, postulants and aspirants.  It was just absolutely awesome to have our entire family consecrated to the Immaculate at the same time.  I think that the most beautiful part of it, along with the consecration to the Immaculate, is the fact that all of our brothers are friends.  We’re not just a group of francis and leorandom individuals who came together to start a new branch of the Franciscan family.  I prefer to believe that we are a family that St. Francis has adopted and presented to the Immaculate for her care and protection.

Tuesday morning, Brother Jay awoke with a heck of a cold.  His head felt as if it were the size of a melon.  Staying awake was very difficult.  Even being sick was a beautiful experience.  The brothers took very good care of their father superior.  They brought him breakfast in bed.  While everyone went about his business, Brother Leo (just like the original) sat with the superior making him tea and bringing him toast with cheese and honey.  It was awesome.
Wednesday night was a very interesting night.  If our detachment from material things was ever put to the test, it was Wednesday.  Two brothers went to the local perpetual adoration chapel just a few blocks from the mother house.  Before they left their car, a rather loud noise was heard.  Brother Jay thought that one of those pesky critters had knocked off another coconut from an adjacent palm tree and that we had been hit.  Brother Bernardo thought that we had been shot at.  He propped the door open and peeked.  At that point, Brother Jay asked him what he was looking for and Brother Bernardo explained, to which Brother Jay responded, “When someone is shooting at you, you don’t get up to check out who it is.  You duck, not stand.”  There were no snipers to be seen.  However, the rear glass of the car came crashing down into a million pieces of what can be falsely sold as diamonds.  I had never seen glass in such small pieces.  Of course, it was the coldest night of the cold_thermometeryear in South Florida, with temperatures in the 40s.

To us, 40 degrees is a big deal.  Realizing that we had no protection from the cold, Brother Jay proceeded to have a word with the Lord.  “Did you have to pick the coldest night of the year?  No wonder you don’t have many friends.”

But that didn’t stop the adorers.  They left the car parked, with a big JPII W EUCHARISTopening in the back and went into the Blessed Sacrament Chapel that remains open 24/7.  There they spent a good 45 minutes with His Majesty.

This is also finals week at the local universities.  We have a few brothers  who are students.  This is a stressful week for them.  You would have never known it.  They were so involved with their brothers, with the Lord and His Blessed Mother that they had everything in order on time.  They prayed. They talked, played, sang songs and played games for our Immaculate Mother.  We were able to ask her for the gift of inner peace and silence, rather than ask her for a specific grade.  blessing of st francisAt the end of the day, one’s degree does not get us past the front door in heaven.  What will get us through will be the love that we have shown to Christ, His mother and to all of those around us, especially under stress.  It was beautiful to hear one brother say to another, “Please be patient with me.  I’m in exam week,”  and the other brother responding. “Just tell me what to do.”

One of the brothers is spending Thursday and Friday night with his biological family.  Brother Jay drove him into the city, but not in the car with the broken rear glass.  We had to rent another vehicle.  By evening time, there were texts flying around between the brothers asking for prayers for sick relatives and friends, telling each other how much they appreciated being together on Monday evening and telling each other how much they miss the other.  It all reminds me of St. John who said,

“if we walk in the light as he is in the light, then we have fellowship with one another.” 

Published in: on December 11, 2014 at 10:58 PM  Leave a Comment  

“Walk in my presence . . . ,” Brother begins his journey


The journey of a consecrated brother in the Franciscans of Life has several steps.  At the beginning they seem to move very quickly and then they slowly settle down.  That’s because the early steps are short.  As the child learns to walk, he takes wider steps.

Let’s follow the journey of Br. Bernardo.  It began at Baptism when his parents and godparents promised to raise him in the Catholic faith and he was washed clean of Original Sin by the waters of Baptism and initiated into the Catholic Church.  He would later make his First Holy Communion and then be confirmed, concluding his initiation into the faith.

But God does not stop working with us on the day of our Confirmation.  On that day, He is finished with the initial part of the process.  Then began the next step.  Like any other man, Bernardo had to find his place in the Church.  After a few years involved in campus ministry and debating Traditionalist points on Catholic Answers Forums, he met the Franciscans of Life.  This dialogue/debate between Bernardo and Br. Jay went from 2012 to the September 2013.  It was almost one year.

Br. Jay invited Bernardo to attend a workshop on the Church’s teachings on the life issues with an introduction to Project Joseph.

This is the young man who entered the door on June 14, 2013 at 9:00 AM.  He was very friendly, but reserved and very guarded.  Almost wondering, “What’s a nice boy like me doing in a place like this?”

That didn’t last very long.  Bernardo can’t keep quiet more than 20 minutes at a time and remaining distant is against his nature.  This is a man who is naturally oriented toward others.  This became obvious very quickly, especially as he and Brother Christopher Thomas enjoyed some coffee and donut.

But God was not finished.  Later, Brother Jay would ask Bernardo to visit a family meeting with the Franciscans of Life.  When the meeting ended, he was excited and happy, like a kid who has just been told that he got an A on a math exam.  He continued to attend the family meetings.WP_20140825_066

On August 23, 2014, Brother Jay decided to risk it and invited Bernardo to enter the aspirancy program.  Brother still had reservations.  But he put it all in the hands of the Immaculate.   On the 24th of August, Bernardo accepted the invitation and was received as an aspirant on August 25, 2014.

The aspirants receive a white shirt and a Tau pin that they wear on their collar

WP_20140825_081On October 27, 2014, Brother Jay found himself at prayer in front of the Immaculate.  As usual, he prayed for all of his brothers, secular and consecrated; aspirants, postulants, novices and professed.  He was very tired and his eyes started to close.  As if in  a state between asleep and awake he clearly saw Bernardo’s face.

“Is that whom you want me to call for you,” Brother Jay asked the Immaculate.  “But Mother, there are some complications, because he’s a doctoral student and I don’t yet know his family,” Brother Jay told the Immaculate.  “Please give me a sign that I’m understanding you correctly.”

Suddenly, the sleepiness vanished and Brother Jay started to laugh.  He was not sure what was going to happen next, but he was sure of one thing.  He had a message to deliver for the Immaculate.  It didn’t make a difference whether Bernardo believed it or not.  Brother never promised the Immaculate and she never demanded that Bernardo would believe the message.  He was to deliver the invitation to enter the Franciscans of Life.  The Immaculate had already placed a strategy in Brother Jay’s mind how Bernardo would be a postulant and finish his degree.  On October 29, 2014, Brother Jay delivered the message and the plan that the Immaculate had put into his mind.  In less than 24 hours, Bernardo accepted the invitation.

After consulting with the brothers, the date was set.  Bernardo would be invested in the seraphic robe on November 17, 2014 the Feast of St. Elizabeth of Hungary, patroness of the Brothers and Sisters of Penance, whose rule the Franciscans of Life follow.  Brothers have to be invested in the name they received at baptism, when they become novices, a new name is assigned to them.  That evening, he became a Student Brother, in the FFV.  Assisting in the investiture was Mrs. Angela,  Bernardo’s mother and Brother Christopher Thomas, whom Bernardo had chosen as his sponsor and witness.

The habit and all the pieces come in a plastic bag.  Brother Chris was holding the bag, handing Mrs. Torres one piece at a time.  When he handed her the Seraphic Tunic she said, “Que emoción,” which Spanish means “I’m 009so moved.”  

There is no such thing as an investiture without comic relief.  We had to take off Bernardo’s shirt to throw the tunic over his head.  But Bernardo just stood there as his mother and one of us fiddled with the tiny buttons on his shirt.  Finally, Brother Jay said, “Oh for goodness sake.  You can help us, you know.”  The buttons were tiny.

But all worked out well.  At the end of the investiture, Brother, his mother, the brothers and some of his friends who attended took pictures and offered Brother their best wishes.

One thing that the new postulant has to be able to do, besides dress himself is to explain each piece of his habit.  The grey was chosen because it was the original color worn by St. Francis and the early brothers.  The tunic stops at midcalf, because that how many Italian peasants wore them in the 13th century.  The cowl (hood) was worn for warmth and the scapular of Our Lady we have added over the years in honor of the Immaculate who appeared to St. Simon Stock wearing the clothes of a peasant woman, undyed brown wool for her tunic and apron (scapular) and undyed white wool for the mantle.

The postulant’s habit is held together by a leather belt as a reminder that St. Francis also started his journey wearing a leather belt, before he gave it up for a piece of rope.  The cord is received when one enters the novitiate.

Over the heart, every Franciscan of Life wears the Tau just as St. Francis drew it on his habit when he first learned of its meaning.  Postulants and novices wear a wooden Tau, while professed wear a bronze Tau.  The red cord that holds the Tau in place reminds us of the Passion of Christ to which we have a special devotion.  Finally, there are things to do around the house.  This postulant’s first assignment was to learn how to cook.

Each step is recorded in our family’s chronicles and witnessed by two people other than the superior.  Bernardo had chosen Brother Chris as one of his witnesses, Brother Jay chose Bernardo’s mother to be her son’s second witness, something that does not happen too often. The journey of a new Franciscan of Life only begins here.  There is still much to learn and many steps to be walked.  There is a one year novitiate and at least three years of temporary vows.

You too can walk this path.  Think about it.014

Enjoy the pictures.

Let's see if the oven is ready.

Let’s see if the oven is ready.

WP_20141201_005

Making Mom’s sauce — “Where is she when I need her?”

Figuring out how to cook a precooked lasagna

Figuring out how to cook a precooked lasagna

Getting the lasgna ready for the oven.

Getting the lasgna ready for the oven.

Published in: on December 3, 2014 at 2:49 PM  Leave a Comment  

Parents and God: friends or foes?


This week, I’ve had the privilege of working with many parents and their children.  When you work in the field of evangelization, you get to meet many families.  I consider it pretty special.  I always walk away feeling that I have exchanged gifts.  It can be an individual member of a family or an entire family who gives me a gift and to whom I give a gift.

For the sake of privacy and because it would be silly to give so many details, I’m going to combine all of my families into three groups.

GROUP I:

I received a letter from someone whom I do not know.  I have never met this person or any member of her family.  It was a lovely letter.

Brother JR, I just wanted to thank you – you were so instrumental in our family’s conversion five years ago. I spent many long hours reading your articles, which were always gentle and full of the beauty of the faith. For that, for helping us know the beauty of the Catholic Church, I am forever grateful.

God bless you, and please know you’re in my prayers.

This letter moved me a great deal.  The Holy Spirit can use anything and anyone to save.  The key is to be aware of that one is an instrument, not the solution to a problem and certainly not God.  Messages like this help us.

My articles are not written with children in mind.  They’re written for adults.  This means that an adult in the family read the articles and shared it with spouse and children.  This is a parent who has found a means to evangelize the family, a means that works for that family.  This is the duty of parents, to bring their families to the faith.

GROUP II:

The other case is also a letter representative of how other parents think.  I have the honor of helping some men and women discern their vocation.  I like to think of it as walking alongside them.  At the end of the day, God does the calling and they respond.  I’m just there to make sure that the person is paying attention.

In vocation discernment, I not only walk with the inquirer, but I often walk with the parents, if they allow it.

During the walk, I have received many positive and holy reactions from parents, especially those parents who have given God a hearing.  I call it a hearing, because they have sought me out or invited me to their home so as to understand what it is that God is asking of them and their sons.  I’m not God and I’m not the son.  I’m the middleman.  I get the opportunity to have some wonderful conversations with parents about consecrated life, marriage, Holy Orders, and parenting.   I received a letter from a parent that really speaks for the several parents with whom I’ve spoken and edited it for privacy and brevity.

Dear Br. Jay,

God’s greatest gifts to a couple are their children.  It is with great joy and love for God that we support our son’s aspiration to become a religious brother or any other vocation he chooses.  Our son . . . and our family are blessed to have you in our lives.  May our God of love and peace keep you healthy to continue to serve Him.

With much love and admiration,

I had to share this message, because I’ve heard this from other parents.  They understand that their children are a gift.  They understand that giving their son or daughter license to respond to God’s plan for his or her life is an act of love for God and the child.  They understand that having a guide is a blessing that God gives to the family, to the son or daughter and to the guide.  We’re all blessed that God has called us to cooperate with Him in His plan for the salvation of this soul.  They have understood the most important part of all.  God has a plan for every human being who is conceived.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”  Jer 1:5

One’s vocation in life has already been written in God’s heart before one ever existed.  All one has to do is follow what God puts before you in the present moment.  He takes care of the rest.

GROUP III:

I also have had experience with a third group of families who struggle with the idea of a vocation to the priesthood and to the consecrated life.  The reasons for their struggles can be many.  I believe that the bottom line is that they are worried about their children’s happiness.  But here is where faith should enter the picture.

One’s happiness is not dependent on the parent.  A man’s happiness is dependent on the choices he makes.  If he chooses to cooperate with God’s plan for his life, he will be happy.  If he chooses some other plan (no matter how noble), he may as well sign his own death sentence.  There is no happiness outside of God’s plan for you.

In these families, parents want to take charge and direct the son or daughter in whatever direction they believes is best for the adult child.  There can be validity to this.  If my son or daughter were dating someone with a criminal background and were talking marriage, I have a duty to warn my child.  At the end of the day, it is my child who consents to the marriage or not.  It is not I who consent.  My duty before God and child is to guide.  Guidance is not the same as control, manipulation, placing temptations before our children to get them to change their minds (See Thomas Aquinas), nor is it the same as commanding, threatening or using guilt.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church tells us that children living at home have to submit to their parents, meaning to their rules, because it’s the parents’ home.  They do not have to submit to that which is not beneficial to their soul.

As they grow up, children should continue to respect their parents. They should anticipate their wishes, willingly seek their advice, and accept their just admonitions. Obedience toward parents ceases with the emancipation of the children; not so respect, which is always owed to them. This respect has its roots in the fear of God, one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2217).

Our faith also tells us that

“Parents must regard their children as children of God and respect them as human persons. Showing themselves obedient to the will of the Father in heaven, they educate their children to fulfill God’s law,” (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2222)

And finally, our faith tells us,

“Parents should respect and encourage their children’s vocations. They should remember and teach that the first calling of the Christian is to follow Jesus (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 2253).

Occasionally, the adult child is up against a parent that seems to have forgotten this.  If I could send a message to parents it would be very simple.

Man was created to cooperate with God, not compete with Him.  To compete with God is to place oneself and one’s child on a slippery slope.  Don’t do it.  You may regret it.  You never know the long-term damage that you may do to your child’s soul.

Some important points to remember.

First, for the parent, competing with God is contrary to the vocation of parenting.  It raises the question, where is God in this picture?

Therefore, life must be treated with the greatest reverence.  Creating obstacles that interfere with the development of a person’s life according to God’s plan runs the risk of violating the sanctity of that person’s life.

I encourage all parents on this slope to step back.  We don’t have to agree with our children’s choices of a vocation.  Our daughter can bring home the last man on earth whom we would pick for her husband; but if there is no moral impediment and he makes her happy, I have to trust that God loves me and loves my child.

Second, for the child, one may never yield to the will of another, when that will is in conflict with God’s plan.  

This includes other people as well, not just parents.  It’s not a license to rebel against parents and follow others down the wrong path.

God makes His plans pretty clear through people, prayer, scripture, sacraments, and events in our lives.  Love of parents is binding until death; but love of God is the first and greatest commandment and it does not end at death.  We are called to love God for eternity.

We too must trust that even if our vocational choice causes our parents some grief, God loves our parents more than we do.  He will give them what they need.  We can never give our parents what God can give them.  We need to move on and give to God what He asks and take what He gives.  Sometimes, the grief is part of God’s plan.  There is such a thing as redemptive suffering.

Father Mitch Pacwa tells the story of how his father swore that he would never speak to him again and would disown him if he joined the Jesuits.  Mother Angelica told the story of how she had to run away from home to join the Poor Clares, because her mother would not hear of it.  I know that Mother Angelica’s mother eventually softened and actually entered the community.  I don’t know if Mr. Pacwa ever made peace with his son.  These two people are examples of a man and a woman who would not stand on the slippery slope with their parents, no matter how much they loved them.  Regardless of how much or how little they understood God’s plan for their lives, they knew that they had to follow the lead that God was giving them.  God would unwrap the rest with time.

If you keep another person company on a slippery slope, because it will make them happy, you may want to ask yourself the question that Christ asked St. Francis.  “Is it better to serve the Master or the servant?”

We must love and assist our parents in every way we can.  But we must always serve the Master first.  When we do, He will give us the means to honor our father and mother.  Was Mary abandoned by Christ?  Yet Christ said,

“Here are my mother and my brothers!  For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.” (Matt 12:49-50)

God is both merciful and just.  He will have mercy on those who live according to His plan.  Beware of God’s justice.  It is not God who punishes.  God’s justice is an act of love.  He allows us to live and die with the consequences of our choices.

Jesus said, “Amen, I say to you, there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands for my sake and for the sake of the gospel 30 who will not receive a hundred times more now in this present age: houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come. (Mark 10:29-30)

God created families, parents and children.  When he did so, he had a plan for each member of the family.  None of us can presume to love our parents, spouses, or children more than God loves them.  All of us must see our families as a gift that is part a plan in the mind of God.  We have to allow God to unfold that plan little by little.  As He unfolds it, He also gives us the resources to love each family member even more than we do  now.  In the meantime, we follow the lead that he places before us.  If parents and children make an honest mistake, God will help us find our way.

St. John XXIII said, “Follow the signs of the times.”

 

Published in: on November 8, 2014 at 4:02 AM  Leave a Comment  

Handcuffing God and Gagging Mom? Good luck!


The more that I think about it, the more convinced I become that my mother and God were Jeannie, Amanda, Aunt Nette, & Grandmavery close to each other.  Of course, she’s been deceased for over a decade.  How close they are is no longer a question.  She was a very good woman, though we did not always think so when she put her foot down.  In any case, let’s get back to what Mom and God had in common.  One can’t handcuff either of them and they both insist on having the last word.

A few years ago, I met a young man on Catholic Answers Forum (CAF).  He was a revert to the faith.  Like many reverts and converts his zeal was sometimes very harsh and gave little or no credit to the rest of us foolish mortals who remained with the Catholic Church from before Vatican II to the present moment.

Somewhere along the line, I let it drop that I am a Franciscan oFRANCIS AND LEPER 2f Life, wear a grey habit and work within and for the Archdiocese of Miami.  What I didn’t know was that my friend worthy also lived in the Miami area and was carefully weighing everything I ever wrote.  Even if I had known, it didn’t matter to me.  Unless he’s in a crisis pregnancy, terminally ill, immigrant poor, or a person living with a disability he’s not in the target population whom we serve.  There are many good laymen, priests, brothers and sisters in the Archdiocese who serve other populations.

In 2013, the Archdiocese of Miami held a synod.  I had the honor of being asked to serve on the one of the teams.  It was a wonderful experience for me.  When the first task of the synod was done, that phase was closed out with a special assembly and liturgy.  Some people from campus ministry invited my young friend to the closing ceremonies of the synod.

Somehow, in a crowd of over 1,000 people, he spotted Brother Christopher Thomas, put two and two together and figured out that Chris is a Franciscan Brother of Life.  He followed us

Br. Christopher Thomas, FFV

Br. Christopher Thomas, FFV

out of the hotel into the parking garage and shouted out, “Which one of you is JReducation?”  I think he was a little surprised when I raised my hand.  I don’t remember if he actually introduced himself other than say that he knew me from CAF.  To be honest, I only got a glimpse of him as he ran back into the building.

However, since God and my Mom won’t be handcuffed and they must have the last word, I would soon be speaking to this young man again, and again, and again.  I began to see the seeds of a vocation to the Franciscans of Life.  I kept inviting him to return and return he did; but hedragged his feet.  For a while I considered buying him a horse similar to that of St. Paul.  Everyone saw the Franciscan in him, except him. fall-off-horse

Finally, after several months of looking at us, hehas applied to and been accepted to begin postulancy with the Franciscans of Life as a consecrated celibate brother.  Let’s not all get up and cheer at the same time.  The road ahead is long.  It takes six years to become a clockperpetually professed Franciscan of Life.  You see, God does not operate on our schedule, won’t speak when we say so, and certainly is not under our control.

In my mind, it’s easy to understand God when I think about my mom.  When something needed to happen, she would make it happen.  You couldn’t handcuff the lady. And when you needed to get a message, she’d make sure you heard it.  There was no gagging her.  What you did with the gift was entirely up to you and so it is with God.  He will not be gagged or handcuffed.

However, you will never be forced to follow.  You will be invited.  The response is in your heart.

Published in: on October 29, 2014 at 1:01 AM  Leave a Comment  

What’s the IQ required to enter heaven?


The great feast of All Saints is just around the corner. I use to think that All Saints was a catch all day that the Church created to cover herself in case those non-canonized saints got upset.  I don’t know at what point in time it dawned on me that the Feast of All Saints is really not about the saints themselves, but about the universal call to sanctity.Francis and lepers

There are only 365 days in a calendar year.  There is no way that we can venerate every canonized saint in one year’s time, much less learn very much about all of them.  But then again, it about more than veneration.  It’s about imitation.  Over the centuries thousands of men and women have lived lives of heroic virtue.  They have gone over and beyond what is usual and customary in the spiritual life.  We’re talking about the practice of charity, prayer, penance, humility, docility to the Holy Spirit, desire for God, detachment from the things of this world, service to voiceless, forgiveness, purity and many other virtues that I can’t list here, because we just don’t have the luxury to do so.  But you get the picture.

Last Monday, I was leading the discussion at our weekly formation class.   I mentioned that St. Thomas Aquinas grappled with the Immaculate Conception.  One of our brothers had a knee-jerk reaction.  “How could a saint grapple with a dogma?  Especially Aquinas?”

It’s impoHow-The-Human-Nervous-System-Worksrtant to remember that the saints grapple with the same questions about human existence, the meaning of life and the nature of God as the rest of us.  For some of them, these become lifelong areas of study and reflection, such as Aquinas and Bonaventure.  Others don’t even know the question, much less the answer and they’re not particularly interested.  They know God is very real and that their vocation is to reach out to Him through the practice of virtue, someone like Mother Teresa.

In fact, the Feast of All Saints should help us to see the simplicity of God and God’s love for us.  Among the saints we find geniuses and fools, very charismaticMother Teresa people and others who were more distant, some very blunt and some very diplomatic, some clowns and others who were almost too intense.  It was how they used the few or the many gifts that they had to practice perfect charity that got them to heaven.  Genius is not a prerequisite for heaven.  If that were the case, Peter would never have become Prince of the Apostles and would still be sitting on some dock on the Sea of Galilee.

As much as some people want to admire St. Paul for being a no-nonsense preacher and teacher, I’m not so sure that he was as harsh as people paint him out to be.  He may have been a straight shooter.  We see this in his exchange with Peter, but he was also a respectful marksman.  During his entire discourse he refers to Peter as Cephas (Rock).  He never fails to acknowledge Simon’s office in the College of the Apostles.  This is not so typical of one who is allegedly a tough guy.  The tough guy as we understand it is the one who is in your face.  That certainly was not Paul.  He was frank, but he sincerely loved Peter and respected him.  What we see in the story is an event about love, not rebellion.  Love is the highest of the virtues.  Paul love Peter, love the Gentiles and loved the universal Church.  He sets out to protect what he loves by pointing to what he sees as wrong.  But he does so with great respect.

The febaby dohast of all Saints calls us to remember that we have been created for love, nothing more is needed.  You can convert a wise man into a saint and you may never convert a saint into a wise man.  But that’s OK.  The vocation to sanctity is a call to the perfection of love.  That’s what we celebrate November 1.  The God who created us out of love, calls us to share in His love for all eternity.  We can begin today.  You don’t need a high IQ to love.

Published in: on October 29, 2014 at 12:39 AM  Leave a Comment  

I’m over here . . .


Archbishop Thomas Wenski celebrates Mass for Nascent LifeThere are many things about my life, apostolate and role in my community that I love.  But I believe the one thing that I love the most is the many interesting questions that people ask me, not to mention the fact that the people are equally interesting.

In discussing life’s choices with people, I often hear the word “hurt”.  Many conscientious people are fearful of hurting others by their choices, especially their parents and siblings.  This is laudable.  We must always avoid intentionally doing something that will harm another person, be it a parent or a stranger. However, we must be very careful here.

There are two key words there, “intentional” and “harm”.  When harm is intentional, a person knows that this particular evil choice will do harm to another person and he goes forward with it.  This does not mean that good choices never cause pain.  They often do.  But the choice remains good.  One has a moral duty to choose the good and avoid evil.  When there are two goods to be chosen, one has a moral duty to choose the higher good, if there is freedom to do so.

Let’s apply this to vocation.  A vocation is a call from God to man.  God calls man to one of several states in life:  marriage, holy orders, or some form of consecrated life.  These are all good, because they are all from God and lead back to God.  However, they don’t lead everyone back to God.  If someone forces himself into a marriage to please another person, it is very difficult to find a path to God in a marriage where one is responding to the wishes of another and not to a call from God.

The same holds true the other way around.  One may walk away from a call from God to please another person, because we don’t want to cause pain.  Let’s assume that all things point to the consecrated life or to Holy Orders.  One’s heart is already there.  Along come a parent or sibling, and one holds back from responding to God’s call so as not to cause this other person pain.  What has one done?

In effect, one has inverted the order of love.  The Commandment is very clear.  “Love God above all things and your neighbor as yourself.”  In choosing to avoid the higher good so as not to hurt the other person, we have placed that person above God and brought God down to our level.  We have no problems sacrificing neither ourselves, nor God in this case.  We just don’t want to sacrifice the other.  We have assigned the highest place to the neighbor and the second place to God alongside ourselves. 

No human being has the right to claim God’s place in our hearts and in our choices.  Nor do we have the right to assign God’s place to another, no matter how much we love that person.  There are some things that God wants us to do for others and some things that He reserves for Himself as the Lord and Giver of life.

Let’s remember, when discerning God’s will for our lives, the answer is always in the order of love.  The first place belongs to God.  We respond by doing that which pleases God first and neighbor second. It always pleases God that we make every attempt to serve and please our neighbor, but never at His expense.  To do so would be a sin against justice.  God does have rights.  Therefore, he has first claim on our lives, whether we’re speaking about parents and children, husbands and wives, or brothers and sisters.  None of these have rights that trump God’s right to our love and surrender.  If anyone of them claim what is rightfully God’s, it is rightful to resist.

We may never do anyone intentional harm.  Intentional harm is an avoidable act that will hurt the other person .  Following God’s will is never to be avoided.  How do we know when we’re following God’s will?

First, there is knowledge.  We know that something is good and pleasing to God.  Our faith enlightens our knowledge.

Second, there is peace.  Even though we know that some tears will be shed, we know that we can place the situation in God’s hands and that in His eternal time, He will comfort those who mourn and reward the generous.

Third, we know that those who truly love us will not grieve forever.  As they realize that we are happy and that we are where we belong, they will be happy.

You cannot love another person and not be happy when he’s happy.  That’s not love.  It’s selfishness.  To cave into selfishness is to cave to sin.  Be it our selfishness or the selfishness of another, selfishness has no place in true love.  True love gives even if it hurts.  Look at St. Francis, St. Clare, St. Thomas Aquinas, St. Gianna Molla, St. Elizabeth Ann Seton, Our Lady . . . were they wrong to love God more than they loved their family and friends?

This praiseworthy fidelity, while not seeking any other approval than that of the Lord, “also becomes a living memorial of Jesus’ way of living and acting as the Incarnate Word in relation to the Father and in relation to the brethren” (St. John Paul II).

Published in: on October 26, 2014 at 11:48 PM  Leave a Comment  

“Honey! I’m home.”


Divine PhysicianOK, so Brother Jay is back in the hospital, excuse me, it’s his timeshare. 🙂

He was rushed in by ambulance on Tuesday morning, not doing well at all.  Most of the day was spent in restlessness.  On Tuesday night, Brother Christopher Thomas visited and Brother Jay brightened up.  They had a great visit together with lots of comments and laughter.  In the meantime, the nurse was keeping a

Br. Christopher Thomas, FFV

Br. Christopher Thomas, FFV

close eye on things, which neither brother observed.

On Wednesday, the calls, text messages, and emails from the other brothers kept pouring in.  Wednesday evening Aspirant Bernardo visited Brother.  Every time Brother Jay heard

Br. Jay, FFV & Aspirant Raul, FFV

Br. Jay, FFV & Aspirant Bernardo, FFV

from one of his brothers, he smiled.  There was a warm feeling inside that is difficult to explain.  However, as I have always said, “If you experience peace and joy in a particular space, call out like Ricky Ricardo, ‘Honey! I’m home’.”  This space need not be an actual physical place.  It can also be a relationship.  Brotherhood is definitely a relationship that happens in many spaces.

Real brotherhood does not need explanations.  Remember the saying.  “Preach always, when necessary use words.”  Your relationship with your brothers should speak of the relationship within the Trinity, the relationship between Christ and his apostles, your relationship with Christ and with his people.

While Bernardo and Chris were visiting, nurses and therapists were entering and leaving the room.  But the charge nurse was the same for both nights.  She had observed Brother Jay every time he was in contact with a brother, personally or by way of technology.

As Bernardo was leaving, she could no longer hold back her question.  She asked the two brothers (Bernardo and Jay) “Are you guys always this happy when you’re together?”  To which they both answered, “Yes.”  Brother Jay quickly added, he’s my little brother.  Everyone chuckled as Bernardo and the nurse left.   But now follows the good part.

Brothers keep their superior company as he catches his breadth.

Brothers keep their superior company as he catches his breadth.

The nurse was watching.  No sooner had Bernardo turned the corner, she quickly snuck into Brother’s room and asked again.  “You guys seem to really enjoy each other’s company.  I noticed it last night too.  Is the other gentleman related to you?”  The other gentleman is Brother Chris.

“Yes, he’s another brother,” said Brother Jay.

“I hate to be nosy, but I noticed that you talked to some people on the telephone and received some texts while I’ve been in here and you light up.  The medicine must be working.”  How’s that for subtle?

Brother responded, “Well, I think that the medication is working, but the most important part of the therapy is not the chemical, but the human element.  You see those two chaps whom you’ve met?”

Nod.

“And the texts and telephone calls?”

Nod.

“Those are all my brothers.  There are seven of us.  We’re not biological brothers.  The bond is tighter than that.  We were not coincidently born into the same family.  God called us and we freely responded.  We belong to a very small family.”   He then went on to explain Franciscans to a curious person who is Protestant and who believed that Catholics never use the bible.  When she heard the Franciscan brotherhood is built upon revealed truth, starting with Sacred Scripture, she was in awe.

This led to questions about celibacy vs marriage.  Brother quickly dispelled this myth.

CelibaimagesCA84KBW0cy and marriage are not in competition.  They are ways of life.  The best way of life is the one where you find peace and joy.  Sometimes, we get so fixated on one way of life, usually marriage, that we never hear God’s proposal to a marriage between His Son and our soul. Very often, God will throw a monkey wrench into our plans to remind us that he has a plan of his own.  However, God does not impose, he proposes, like an insistent lover.  At the end of the day, we choose celibacy or marriage.

Brother then explained that the brothers come in two wrappers, married and celibate.  Brotherhood is not defined by the way you live out God’s invitation to holiness.

Brotherhood is defined by joy, a sense of belonging, mutual respect, tolerance for each other’s weaknesses and eccentricities, and intimacy (allowing the other brother to walk through the corridors of your heart).    If you find peace and joy in this experience then you have arrived where you belong right now.

We’re sharing this with you because Brother Chris made a prophetic statement.  When Brother Jay told him that he may have a longer visit to the hospital, Chris said “Maybe God wants you to do some hospital ministry.”  Every time Jay is in the hospital, something draws in some of the staff and questions begin.  Up to that point, nothing had happened. Chris was referring to these past experiences. In a few hours, this wonderful dialogue with the nurse took place.

It all began and ended with “being rather than doing”.  Being joyful brothers rather than busy brothers, is the greatest witness to the Gospel and the greatest sign that one has arrived home.

francis and leo

Published in: on October 16, 2014 at 12:10 PM  Leave a Comment  
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