DOES MAN HAVE MORAL RIGHTS OR COINCIDENTAL RIGHTS?


We have some major moral issues on the table that ethics cannot ignore.  We pose them here in question form to allow each reader to arrive at his or her own conclusions, always guided by a well-formed conscience rather than what’s simply comfortable.

1. Is it moral to strip 24 million people of affordable healthcare?

  • Are there alternatives that can help the economy without doing harm to the voiceless?

2. The speculation is that the current government will defund Planned Parenthood for one year.

  • Is this enough to protect the right to be born?  If not, what makes this a moral gesture?

3. There are individuals in government who are seriously considering defunding Meals on Wheels. If that were to happen, 2.4 million senior citizens would lose the one healthy meal they eat.

  • How can we morally justify taking a food resource away from those who cannot buy food?

4. In the Old Testament God delivered the Jewish people from slavery in Egypt, and led them to a promised land where there were already people. In the New Testament, Jesus says, “I was a stranger and you took me in.”  In both situations, the moral option being presented is openness to those who are seeking sanctuary. 

  • Could the people of that time deny sanctuary to the Jews and justify themselves before God?
  • Can we offer God a strong moral reason for denying sanctuary to refugees?
  • Can we say, with certain honesty, that foreign refugees pose a greater threat to human life than those who sell and purchase guns illegally or those involved in drug trafficking and human trafficking?

5. Assisted suicide and direct euthanasia are legal in some countries and being considered in the United States. The argument is that persons whose quality of life fails to meet certain criteria are better off dead.  Even atheists must ask themselves how can one ethically and morally support the taking of a life that is not a direct threat to our safety or that of our family?

  • Who decides the criteria for euthanasia?
  • Are the criteria arbitrary?
  • In that case, is human life an arbitrary coincidence?
  • If man is an accident of nature, how can he claim natural and moral rights?

If I had to face God’s judgement today, can I justify my position and my silence on any of these issues? 

St. Thomas Aquinas reminds us that he who sees sin and remains quiet is as guilty as the person committing the sinful act.

Published in: on March 17, 2017 at 12:32 PM  Leave a Comment  

The Power of Words: Word Control


Nothing on earth does greater harm to the human community than the absence of “word control”.  Word control applies to the written word as well as the spoken word and thoughts.  Those who use social media to express their feelings and opinions can do just a much harm as those who speak recklessly.  We can’t examine every possible situation in life, but we can look at some of the more common misbehaviors and learn what the proper behavior should be.

So, you’re in a bad mood.

One can be in a bad mood for many reasons: fatigue, sleep deprivation, illness, worries, or the aftermath of a conflict.  Being in a bad mood for any of these situations or others is not out of the ordinary for any animal.  Even dogs and cats have good days and bad days.  Is it OK to snap at people, ignore others, command those whom we should not command or simply whine?  Would you allow your dog to snap at you, because he’s in a bad mood or your cat to dig his claws into you?

Alternative appropriate behavior:  The first appropriate behavior is silence. One must bite one’s tongue rather than use it as a sharp cutting edge.

The second appropriate behavior is to be reasonable.  Not everyone around us is our enemy.  Why push others away with our caustic remarks and behaviors?  Remember, everything gets old, even if it comes from people we love.  How long can a parent or a spouse tolerate such behavior?

Body language that sends very clear signals, “Beware of dog,” doesn’t delete our bad mood and certainly does nothing for others.  This can be an open window that allows divisive evil to enter the scene. Smiling at someone who has done no harm can be an act of heroic charity.

Spouses are neither our property nor our children.

There seems to be a mistaken notion, in some homes, that a spouse can be spoken to as if he or she were an indentured servant or a child.  A spouse who believes that he can rattle the other is setting a very poor example of social skills, justice, and charity.  No spouse has the right to command the other to do or not to do something.   Much less does any spouse have the right to lay a hand on the other.  It’s immoral.  It makes a bad situation worse.  Someone can get hurt.  In a home with children, it teaches children that the only way to win is to shout and strike.

Appropriate behavior when you disagree with your spouse:  The best thing to do is to say nothing, initially.  “Let me think about this,” is a perfectly respectful response.  Then you put some distance between you and the other person.  Avoid, if you can, leaving the house. Nothing is as offensive to a human being than to see a door closing between the person he loves and the self.  At this point, disagreement can feel like dismissiveness.  Taking the dog for a walk is OK; but let the other spouse know that you’re going to walk the dog.  You’re not running away from the disagreement.  Besides, disagreements don’t go away, because we leave.

Once you’re alone, you must be honest with yourself.  You must ask yourself what is that you find disagreeable and why?  Finding something disagreeable, because it’s not the way that I think things should be is not much of an argument.  On the other hand, if the way I think things should be is better for the good of the marriage and the household, then I need to communicate that.  It’s more effective than saying, “I don’t agree,”  “Nope!”

There is a big difference between commanding and bullying a spouse and requesting, suggesting, or simply disagreeing.

Gossiping with yourself

We do this more often than we care to count.  Spreading gossip, where one is telling the truth, exaggerating it or simply lying, is sinful.  It violates several moral laws, the first one being justice.  Everyone has a right to a good reputation.  Not everyone has the need to know about another person’s life.  If someone’s good reputation is damaged, let his actions speak for themselves.  They don’t need your help.

Back to gossiping with oneself. We engage in what I call loop talking.  Loop talking is when we repeat to ourselves every fault that we find in another person.  We repeat it so often that it becomes a loop.  We do it without pushing the play button.  The evil part here is that in time our souls becomes darker and darker with resentment.  When we cross a certain point, it’s very difficult to undo the program that we have installed in our minds.  We need help.

Alternative and appropriate behavior, rather than gossiping to yourself:  If there is someone whom you trust not to spread gossip, such as a confessor, spouse, superior or spiritual director, they may be a good place to “dump” your feelings.

If you find that you’re repeating the same negative thoughts about another person more than 24-hours, it’s time to have a talk with the other person, not a confrontation.  Sometimes, it’s difficult to talk to someone who does not listen or fails to understand.  An attempt to speak to such a person can lead to frustration, anger, hatred and even vindictiveness.  Best not to have that heart-to-heart talk, without a mediator, never alone.

Unless the other person is Satan himself, every human being has something positive that he or she brings to the table.  Very often, these persons have done something good for us.  Taking an inventory of the good that this person has contributed to the group or to my life can be a way of changing the recording.  I’m engaging in a more positive dialogue with myself.

I must always remember, none of us can change another person.  But all of us can do something to change what we think, what we say about others and how we deliver the message.

Everyone disagrees with authority figures at some point in one’s life.

This is not unusual.  When an authority figure asks for something against God’s law, one has no obligation to agree or obey that specific request or command.   People in positions of authority make mistakes.  One can even say that they often make foolish mistakes.

Appropriate response to authority:  We must make sure that the person has the right to command that which he or she commands.  Never forget that those who exercise authority legitimately, have the right to command what is within the scope of their role. This includes things that make no sense to us.  There is no rule that says that people in authority must always make sense.  We hope they do make sense.  But don’t expect that to be the case all the time.

Ask yourself, “Is this request a violation of God’s moral laws?”  You should also ask yourself, “Does this request undermine a command from a higher authority, a person higher in the hierarchy of authority?”

When this is the case, you have a moral duty to explain why you cannot comply.  But you do not have the right to use an aggressive tone of voice, vulgar words, raise your voice, or walk out before the person in authority has the final word.

Remember, your issue is with a very specific command that violates moral duty.  Your issue is not with the person giving the command and much less with the office that he or she occupies.  You must remain close to that person and that office.  Otherwise, you break communion with the person in authority.  What do you do now that you have severed your ties with the person at the top?

Bossy People

There are some people who have difficulty suggesting, requesting, asking for, and least of all persuading others.  They simply speak to others as if they were the authority and the other person the subordinate.

Appropriate behavior for bossy people:  The first suggestion is that if you can’t say it without commanding, being quiet may be a good idea.

Take careful note to whom it is that you’re speaking.  If the other person is the authority and you’re the subordinate, but you’re doing the commanding, you’re probably being rude and in violation of justice.

If you’re the person in authority, remember this.  The most effective person in a position of authority is not authoritarian.  Good leaders are frank, respectful, assertive, kind, and flexible.  They know how to listen and to how much they should listen.

The subordinate person would be wise to let the person in authority have the last word.  If you try to have the last word, you’re letting your pride do the driving.  Humility goes a lot further than arrogance.

Language must be used responsibly.  Language was given to man to express the wonders of life and to communicate Divine Truths.  The world was created when “God said”.  (Genesis).  “In the beginning was the Word”. (John)

Published in: on February 4, 2017 at 3:02 PM  Leave a Comment  

Our Forefathers Have Been Betrayed


As we approach the inauguration of a new presidency and the anniversary of Roe vs Wade, I assume that many of our friends expect the Franciscans of Life to say something wise and uplifting.  Try as I did, I was unable to come up with anything wise to say.  Perhaps is the fact that I fell today and lacerated my forehead.  Thank God that my cranium was not currently occupied.  In any case, I can’t come up with some wise and profound comment to make.  So, I’ll let my simple country logic do the talking.

Roe vs Wade must never be forgotten, not only because it made abortion a constitutional right in our country, but it did much more.  It stripped the preborn human being of the right to be born.  Roe vs Wade was one of the most selfish acts that the American people have ever perpetrated on its citizens.

Our Founding Fathers rebelled against a monarchy and parliament that was tyrannical, a king and government that had no respect for the basic human rights of its citizens on the western side of the Atlantic.  As far as the English crown was concerned, the colonists and their descendants were to be silenced when it came to matters that affected their lives, the lives of their families and the future of the kingdom.  We must say “kingdom”, because on July 3, 1776 there was no United States.  There was simply the American colonies and territories of the English Kingdom.

But our forefathers changed all that.  They fought and many gave their lives for the right to live, the right to have a voice about their lives, and the right to choose their future.

Hilary Clinton once said that the unborn CHILD has no constitutional rights.  The issue on the table is not whether the being in the womb is a person, human being, child or other.  The question has been settled.  The being in the womb is a CHILD.

The laws of nature dictate that the child of two human beings cannot be a chimpanzee.  He must be a human being, regardless of his parents’ faults and virtues.

Yet, this human being, who lives in our midst, is denied the right to be born.

We have dared to do the unimaginable.  We have dared betray the memory of those who fought for our right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.  We betrayed their dream of a nation where people were given the right to live according to the graces endowed by their Creator, as Thomas Jefferson so eloquently wrote.

We have misrepresented the mind of the Founding Fathers, the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution.  In other words, we have hijacked the American dream.

Roe vs Wade limits the right to life, freedom and the pursuit of happiness to those who have the power and cold-heartedness to terminate the life of one who is weaker and defenseless.

Br. Jay, FFV

Video by youtube user on ultrasound of their 8-week baby.

Watch full-screen!

See and hear baby’s heartbeat, watch the 1-inch baby wiggle,
and see description for link to video of 1st year birthday.

Vita ad vitam vocat – Life calls out to life

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They came from the east, west, north and south


Happy New Year to all our relatives, friends and benefactors.

2017_01_bros_virginiaChristmas week was a very active one for us.  On December 23rd, Brother Jay and Brother Bernardo flew into Virginia to spend Christmas with Katherine Marie Therese, Brother Jay’s brand new granddaughter.  It was her first Christmas.  But there was much more to it.  We’ll get to that shortly.

December 24th family came in from Pensacola, FL, Pembroke Pines, FL, and Bloomington, IL.  The house was filled with joy, conversation, a lot of picture taking and a fantastic dinner.

2016_01_24_dinner

Daniel, Brother Jay’s son-in-law, cooked the main course, a roast pork shoulder.  No one knew Daniel was such a great cook.  Our waistlines, the next day, proved that Daniel cooks very well. Let’s put it this way, on the trip home, Brother jay could not move once he opened the tray-table in front of him on the airplane.

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Anonymous well-rounded brother

To be perfectly transparent, if one can be transparent with such girth, the airline industry is determined to influence relationships between people who don’t know each other.  The seats are so close to each other that no one with a waist over 40” can get to the window seat.  There is no way to squeeze in between the three seats in your row and those in front of you, unless you breath and hold it as you navigate in a tight space.  If you try to do this after eating several holiday meals, you can forget it.  You may as well pay a little extra for a seat in the bulkhead section, preferably a loveseat.  But let’s get back to Christmas Eve.

Unfortunately, we were unable to attend Midnight Mass, because the local parish did not have one this year.  The closest Midnight Mass was about thirty minutes away, which is a rough trip for a two-month old little girl, in the middle of a cold December night.  Since we couldn’t travel that far, we sat around and talked, teased each other and I believe that one or two of us may have dozed off for a few minutes, after such a large and delicious meal.

cartujoEarlier that day, Daniel’s mother and Brother Jay engaged in a conversation about a liquor that the Carthusian hermits have been making for hundreds of years.  The more they talked about it, the more enthusiastic they became about finding it.  Thank God for Google.  The first problem was identifying the name of the liquor.  Brother Jay is a “master googler”.  We found the name of the liquor, Chartreux, named after the Charterhouse where the hermits have lived for about 1,000 years.

The next step was to find out where we could purchase a bottle of it to go with the Christmas meal.  Once again, Google came to the rescue and the liquor was found and purchased.  Did I mention that it smells and tastes like cou2016_01_24_quest.jpggh medicine?  Originally, the Carthusian hermits made this liquor for medicinal purposes.  It’s no surprise that it smells like cough medicine without the artificial cherry flavor.   Let’s put it this way.  The stuff smells and tastes so awful that an ounce is about all you can drink in one evening.  I don’t mean one sitting.  I mean a full evening.  The positive here is that you’re literally indulging in Catholic spirits that have been around for about 800 years.  If you’re looking to make contact with your Catholic roots and traditions, here is a drink that you can use as an aperitif or as a cure for any disease imaginable.

Opening the gifts under the Christmas tree was a beautiful experience.  You have picture some 15 people in a small living room with room for a sofa, a chair and a Christmas tree.  There is no more floor space.  The little floor space that used to be available is now occupied 2016_01_24_collage.jpgby baby Katherine’s play mat, chair and some other contraptions.  If you’re not careful, you can trip on a piece of infant equipment and find yourself sitting in an infant carrier.

In any case the gifts were distributed and opened.  The beauty of the event was that there were no “over the top” gifts, no electronic gadgets (other than a book light for Brother Jay) and there were many books given as gifts.  Each gift was purchased with the intention of enriching the life of the next person, as the infant in the manger enriched the lives of the shepherds and peasants in the surrounding pastures.

These are true Christmas gifts.  It’s not a show of opulence; nor is it an attempt to impress the recipient with one’s FANTASTIC present.  It was a sharing of gifts that have meaning that we share and that enrich the life of the recipient, because the giver has been enriched by it first.  You’re not just sharing a thing, you passing on a positive experience in your life.

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On December 25th, everyone met up at the local parish for Christmas Day mass.   It was a great experience.  We were all filled with the same awe as the shepherds in Bethlehem the morning of Our Lord’s birth. That’s one of the wonderful things that happens when you have a family where everyone is a practicing Catholic and well catechized.  The mystery of the Eucharist, especially on a solemnity such as Christmas, moves you as an individual and as a family.  In this way, the entire family travels down the path to redemption following Mary, the star that leads to Incarnate Son of the Father.2016_25_Christmas_mass.jpg

Then came December 27th.  This was the day that Baby Katherine was to be baptized, her godparents being her paternal uncle and auntie.  This time, family members came not only from the cities that we mentioned above, but more family arrived.  Some drove all the way from Miami.  Others took a five-hour bus ride to be there.  There were cousins who live in New York and other relatives from Virginia, and there were the brothers, the Franciscans of Life.  There were also childhood friends who are now married and parents themselves.  They took the time off from work to participate in the baptism.

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Three generations of family from her father’s side and three from her mother’s side, plus long-term friends, were present to welcome Katherine into the Church and to formally name her, Katherine Marie Therese.   She is now a Catholic along with her family and friends.  For this we are grateful to God.  Passing down the faith to the next generation is always a memorable event when those present are more than spectators.  They are men and women of faith opening the door for a loved one to enter into a deeper communion with the family and with Christ, through the waters of Baptism.2016_27_Baptism.jpg

It was finally time to go home.  But Brother Bernardo couldn’t find his wristwatch.  He decided to take a look behind the sleeper sofa, not knowing that the sofa is alive.  The bed started to close and swallow him up.

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Thankfully, the sofa spit him out and the brothers returned to the Motherhouse, exhausted, elated, enriched and in one piece.  It’s going to be a great year.  The best part is that it’s not an election year.  NO MORE CAMPAIGNS!!!!!  YEY!!!!!

Dancing Friar

We Fail to See the Light


Very often we hear people say, “That’s good for you guys, because you’re in vows; but the rest of us are not.”  This comes from practicing Catholics.  I believe that people who make such a comment do not understand the temporal purpose of the vowed life.

The vowed life is for the benefit of the person who makes the vows, but also for the benefit of the whole body, the Church.  Married couples also make vows.  Imagine what would happen if people of faith adopted the belief that the marriage vows are for the benefit and responsibility of the couple, but have no bearing on the rest of Christ’s Mystical Body.  Marriage would make no sense.

A vowed life, whether one vows to observe chastity, poverty and obedience or one vows to be faithful to one’s spouse until death, in good times and in hard times, is not wp_20150118_016a private relationship between the person who makes the vow, the people in his life and God.  God does not call people into private relationships with him to the exclusion of everyone else.  Even hermits, such as the Carthusians, embrace the cross in silence and solitude for the benefit of the Church as well as their benefit.

The vows of consecrated life (chastity, poverty and obedience) have a transcendent quality to them.  The individual making the vows renounces everything that the world has to offer in order to live more perfectly the vows made at Baptism.  He or she does not promise to do profession-of-vowssomething different from the rest of the baptized.  He promises to do the same, but more perfectly or as close to perfection as is possible for him.  In doing so he becomes a sign of life in the Kingdom of God.

This leads us into the temporal quality of the consecrated life.  God chooses to place consecrated men and women in the middle of His people for the benefit of the Church.  Through their life of prayer, sacrifice, service and love, God’s grace pours into the world.  God is willing to do Julian_Corpus_Christicartwheels to save us.  He gives us the Scriptures.  He gives us Himself through the Incarnation and the Eucharist.  He shares His life with us through the sacraments.  And he places many other sources of grace in the middle of the marketplace for the salvation of his people.

If one assumes that the life and works of the man or woman in vows or the married couple does not affect us or commit us in any way, then one is ignoring and possibly bride-groomrejecting the grace that God wishes to share with us through these states in life.

We need not be married to learn to love without holding anything back.  Everyone is called to love without restrictions on his love. JEANNIE 31 WEEKS PREGNANT

The married couple is God’s sign of such love.  We can’t simply turn away and say, “Love without reservation is for you, because you’re married.”

We need not to vow chastity, poveuntitled-4rty and obedience to learn how to think and act with a pure heart, how to let go of the many things, people and places that redirect our attention away from God and we don’t need to be in vows to be bound to obey God as he reveals His will to us through Sacred Scripture, Jesus Christ and the Church.

This last one is key, obedience.  Obedience to what God asks of us at any given moment is not for a select few.  oratoryThose bound by a vow of obedience are to be the models of submission to the will of God, not the only people bound to submit to God’s will.

Maybe one of the reasons why vocations to the consecrated life are down and the reason that some consecrated persons are lukewarm in the way they live out the vows, is because we have separated the vowed state in life from the secular man and woman. When we separate the Evangelical Counsels from the secular sphere, what counsels are left to guide the secular man and woman to fulfill his or her baptismal promises?  Chastity, poverty and obedience are the yard-lines that lead to the final goal, the perfection of charity.

How does one know how close or how far he is from the goal without the yard-lines?

When the vows of chastity, poverty obedience and hurricane_matthewthe
vows of marriage are lived as they should be lived, they become a torch that is a sign of God’s light in what sometimes seems like a dark and scary world.flame

Increasing in more ways than one


Our little family seems to be going into a growth spurt.  The first shot . . .

JEANNIE 31 WEEKS PREGNANTBrother Jay’s granddaughter is inside.  NO . . . not in the box.  🙂

IVERSON HOLMBERG ASPIRANTSNext . . . meet the new aspirants.

Right:  Thomas Holmberg

Left:  Andrew Phillip Iverson

Tom has entered as an aspirant for the Extern Brothers.  He is a husband, a dad and a grandfather.  Welcome to our family, Tom.  Our prayers are always with you.

Andrew is an aspirant for our Regular Brothers.  He will live in community, make private profession of obedience, poverty, chastity and fidelity to the Gospel of Life.  We’re happy to have you among us, Andrew.

Observe the difference in the aspirants’ uniform.  The Extern Aspirant wears a white Habanera shirt with a TAU pin on his left lapel, while the Regular aspirant wears a white button-down shirt (short or long sleeve) with a TAU pin on his left lapel.

The aspirant phase is an optional step before a man requests to be admittedIVERSON INTERROGATIONd as a postulant.  The usual duration is no more than three months.  The aspirant and the formation team discern when it’s time to take the next step.

Each candidate is publicly interrogated by the superior.  He must swear that he understands what he’s doing and that he’s doing so freely.

ASPIRANCY ALTAR

On the altar are the TAU pins, symbol of the Franciscan family, the breviary for the Regular aspirant and the register that each aspirant and the superior must sign, witnessed by at least one brother.

Tom kneelsHOLMBER SIGNING in front of the superior to sign the register of admission.

The  new aspirant is received in a private ceremony that takes place during Vespers.  Only Franciscans of Life attend this ceremony.  Profession of vows takes place with a few invited guests, such as relatives friends and clergy.

Because the Regular Brothers are bound to pray the entire Divine Office, the Regular aspirant is given a breviary.  During this phase he becomes familiar with the Divine Office and begins to pray Lauds and Vespers.  Eventually he will pray Matins Lauds, Sext, Vespers and Compline.RECEPTION OF BREVIARY 1

The Regular aspirant places his hands on the breviary before receiving it from the superior who says to him, “Believe what you pray and pray as you believe.”

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Brother Bernardo D’Carmine was the sponsor and witness for both aspirants.

We must give special thanks to the Latin Mass Community of Miami for Brother Bernardo and Aspirant Andrew Phillip.  The community cultivated both vocations.  This is an example of the “oneness” of our Church.

The Franciscans of Life do not bear the label, “Traditionalist” nor are we part of the Ecclesia Dei Community, those institutes committed to the Extraordinary Form of the mass and to the Divine Office as it was prayed in 1962.  Nonetheless, Franciscans of Life is traditional in a very different sense.

Our Constitution mandates that we recover and imitate the life of the first generation Franciscans.

If you aspire to go forward, you must first look back.

 

 

Published in: on August 25, 2016 at 10:06 AM  Leave a Comment  

Pesky Flies Don’t Rant


Have you ever listened to someone when they are angry and ranting? If you have never had such an experience, you’re either deaf or you live under a rock. Rants are part of the human condition. I would say that rants are part of human communication. They allow the listener a peek into the heart and soul of the other, the person who is ranting.

ranting

You see, when people rant, they are only partially in control. Very often the emotions move faster than the rules that govern social discourse; the result is that you reveal yourself in not so politically correct ways, but probably in the most humble way possible. Humility is the exercise of truth governed by trust. You trust that the person who sees and hears you as you truly are also loves you as you are, not as he or she imagines or desires you to be.

Having been at the receiving end of rants many times in my life, rants by family members, colleagues, superiors, and even brothers in my own community I have learned to appreciate them rather than build a wall between the frustrated ‘ranter’ and me.

OK, I confess. I just made up a word: ranter. Now get past your linguistic indignation and stay with me.

While I’m sitting there listening to my brother rant on about something, it can be the flavor of ice cream, I’m aware that rants don’t have to be rational. But while I’m apparently listening to the rant, the truth is that I’ve learned to close my ears off to the rant. I open my eyes to other things and listen to those instead. It has often been a humbling experience. Allow me to explain.

My brother is ranting because something is bothering him. Why else rant? This does not mean that his annoyance is justified. Sometimes our annoyance is either irrational or exaggerated. But that’s not important and this is where we go wrong. We begin to look for the rationality in the other person’s discourse and being unable to find it, we return rant with rant.

Ignore the steam and focus on the heart...

Ignore the steam and focus on the heart…

On the other hand, observing Jesus in the Gospels and St. Francis of Assisi in his dealings with the first generation Franciscans, I noticed that they look at the heart of the ranter and listen to his inner voice.

Christ, very often, tells the Pharisees that they are closed minded, hard-hearted, proud and ignorant. But he never tells them that they are irrational, exaggerating, rude, or obnoxious. That’s not to say that they were not. It just means that Christ finds the truth about a man in his heart, not in his emotional outbursts. When he looked into the hearts of some of the Pharisees, he saw some serious character flaws.

At the same time, when he looked into the heart of some other ranters and whiners, he saw an innocence, ignorance, or uncertainty that kept him coming back to them and inspired him to call his apostles, “Friends”.

I noticed the same behavior in our holy father St. Francis when dealing with the early brothers. While one group ranted about the rule being too impractical and another group ranted about the first group being too liberal, Francis never returned a rant with a rant. He never lost his cool. He never told them to go away. He politely listened and said what he felt needed to be said and went on his way.

Through the years I’ve contemplated how Jesus and Francis responded to rants. I’ve integrated these observations along my parents’ style of communication; I’ve come to the conclusion that a rant can be like heart surgery . . . usually a great discomfort, but lifesaving.

Recently, one of my brothers was ranting at me (the reason is irrelevant and no, I did not kill the cat…). As he went on and on, I heard what he was not saying. He was hurt by something. I had failed to respond in the manner that he felt I should. Therefore, he was hurt by my behavior, because I came across as indifferent to something important to him. While we all claim that we are not concerned with what the world thinks, we all know this is not true. We care very much, especially those people with him we share the world the closest. As I thought of this, I realized that had it been someone else who ignored that which was important to the brother, it may have annoyed him or even made him angry, but it would not have hurt. What I was listening to was not a rant. The rant is the noise made by pain.

Before we go on to think that we must yield to everyone who rants, out of pity for their pain, let’s clarify something. Some people are in pain because their expectations are unreasonable or even irrational. Others are in pain because they never bothered to share their expectations, concerns, fears and loves with the other person. Suddenly, something goes wrong and they explode, leaving the other person feeling confused or even angry in return.

The point is that when someone rants at you, try to see his heart and listen to his pain. Then you can decide for yourself whether he is being reasonable or not.

In my particular case, during my last encounter with a rant, what I saw was a wounded heart, because I had failed to do something that would have validated my brother. As he ranted, I examined my conscience and realized that I had failed in spiritual friendship. I know this mean intimately. I should have responded to a sensibility of which I am well aware. I also heard, “I love you,” under his rant. “If I didn’t love you, I could care less how you respond to my feelings.” To me, there is nothing more humbling than being loved.

The next time that someone rants at you, try to SEE what’s in the heart and HEAR the emotion communicated by the soul. You may find that the person ranting at you is your best friend, not a pesky fly.

friend_the_fly

Br. Jay

No Bikes Allowed In Heaven


I realize that it’s a little late to write Mother’s Day messages.  In my case, it may be a little late to write a eulogy for my mom who died 15 years ago.  Nonetheless, there is something that I would like to share with all of you who are parents and those who will be parents.

When a parent approaches the Lord for the final judgement, the most important question that he must face is whether or not he fulfilled his duty as a Christian and passed on the faith to his children.

Passing on the faith is more involved than sending kids to weekly CCD and putting them through the drills for First Confession, First Holy Communion and Confirmation.  The sacraments are not graduation ceremonies.  The sacraments are part of a journey.  This is where my mother comes into my spiritual picture.FLAMES

Whatever her faults, were many things that my mom did well.  But the one thing that she did with outstanding fidelity, love, courage and concern was to hand down the faith.  From the moment we were born we were incorporated into the faith community.  I say incorporated to mean that we didn’t just get dragged down to the church to be baptized or the temple to be blessed and “Goodbye”.  There was much more.  Faith was part of our domestic culture.

I remember that the first picture book that I ever read was the story of Moses.  From there, I read every other story in the bible.  Faith was part of our recreation, because bedtime reading was a ritual and a fun time for me.

Religious symbols were present in every room in our house.  I was taught to pay attention to them.  I remember my mother insisting that I bow my head each time I passed a crucifix that was in the entry foyer.  Bowing to the crucifix and altar in church were not new to me.

Morning, evening and night prayers were part of our family schedule.  We prayed before going to school.  When I was older, I prayed the Holy Rosary with my mom every day at 7PM.  I have no idea why it had to be at 7PM.  I can tell you this.  I have no idea what wasrosary on TV at 7PM.  That was time for evening prayer.  Then there were night prayers that were said at bedtime.  The very first prayer that I learned to say was the Lord’s Prayer.  Because I grew up in a bilingual home, my mother made sure that I could pray it in two languages.  After that, other prayers were added, including prayers at the table.

My mother taught us Judeo-Christian morality without proselytizing and without nagging.  I would come home and tell her about something I saw at school or on the street.  My mother would stop to listen.  If the action was good, she explained how I should imitate it, because it pleased God.  If the action was bad, she explained the importance of avoiding it, because it was a sin and sin could land you in hell.  My mom was not afraid of words like “sin” and “hell”.  Despite her use of those terms, I don’t suffer from PTSD.  If anything, I suffer from a guilty conscience when I mess up.

Not to drag this on too long, which I already have, when I was about 11 we had a fire that destroyed a good portion of our home.  It took several months to rebuild, paint and do whatever else they do when they rescue a house.  How would I know?  I was only 11.

I’ll never forget standing outside at 3:00 AM on a very cold March morning, in my PJs and a blanket, watching flames come out of one of the upstairs windows.  When the fire was finally out, I asked my mother, “What are we going to do?”  My mom was very quiet for a moment.  Then she said, “I have no idea.  Let’s not worry about that now.  Let’s find a warm place to sleep.  God always has a plan and he will tell us what to do when the time is right.”  This was a belief that she instilled in us from childhood.  “God has a plan.”  And “Only God knows.”  We were always assured that Providence was taking care of us.

Like any good Judeo-Christian, we worshipped every weekend and on holy days as well.  There was  no such thing as sleeping in and not going to Church until you were old enough to pay your own bills.

The best thing that I learned from my mother was love of God and love of neighbor.  I saw my mom take in kids whose parents could not care for them and they would live with us until the parents were ready to take them home.  One child lived with us about three months.  I saw my mother stop inside the church on her way home to visit the Blessed Sacrament.

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I was not asked if I wanted to come in.  I just naturally followed and knelt in front of the tabernacle.  There was no doubt that Christ lived in that little box.  There was no excuse for driving or walking by the church and not stopping to say hello to its sovereign resident.

Remembering these things, I believe that at the moment of her death, whatever faults my mother had were outshined by her perseveration when it came to handing down the faith to her children.  This is the first and most important vocation of parenting.

The roof over the head, the food on the table, the school tuition, and medical bills were all covered.  But as my mother once said, “Giving your kids the material things they need won’t get them to heaven.  No bikes allowed in heaven.  You have to give more.”

Three Peas in a Pod we’re not – Scott Eric Alt, Robert Spaemann and I – Maybe two


To better understand this comment, I would refer you to the excellent post by Scott Eric Alt on Interacting With the Spaemann Interview on Amoris Laetitia ,

three peasNow my two cents.

I’m having a problem with the Professor Spaemann’s answers and those of others of the same way of thinking.  It is not impossible for anyone to disagree with something in an Apostolic Exhortation.  This much is true.  They are written to offer some guidance, not to teach.  One can always disagree with the guidance that is offered.  Before I continue, allow me to say that we can and often do teach through the guidance that we offer.  Anyone who’s a parent knows exactly what I mean, but back to the professor.

I never trust these reports.  It is often the case that the gaps between what the subject said and the reporter wrote are as numerous as the craters on the moon.  For the sake of this discussion, let’s give the interviewer the benefit of the doubt and accept that he is reporting without too much editing.

It is my opinion that the Professor’s responses are not helpful on two fronts.

First:  They present a dark side of the exhortation, but the speaker fails to give you observable results from past experiences that prove the existence of such a dark side.  Philosophy works with and based on systems.  I could not find that system that the professor uses to arrive at his conclusions.  Therefore, I can only assume that the systems are not reported, which does not allow those of us who know some philosophy to question the methodology leading to his conclusions.  The other possibility is that he is not using systematic thinking, but it projecting his predictions based on subjectivity (gut feeling).

Second:  I caution people to be careful with those who claim to love the Church and to have been a consultant to this pope and a friend to that one.  This can be and probably is true.  Sometimes, these relationships can obscure one’s sense of duty.  Even though the Professor was an advisor to St. John Paul II and a friend to Benedict XVI, as a faithful Catholic philosopher, his first allegiance is to the Church, not the individual popes.  Therefore, I would expect him to use his skills and his intimate experience with these two giants to help his audience see the points of contact and continuity between AL and tradition.  In no way does this detract from his right to use his intellect to say, “This can be said more clearly,” or “This raises this question that we need to submit to someone in authority to respond.” 

In doing so, one is faithful to the Church, does not throw the current pope under the bus, is not sucked into the typical Church politics of “conservative vs liberals”, and helps people see the good in the exhortation while encouraging them to ask questions respectfully and with trust in the integrity of the person answering.

BA Degree for Sale (Bachelor of Abortion)


not_disposableThere was a recent event at one of the major Catholic universities in the United States that hosted as the ‘only speaker’ the national director of Planned Parenthood.  Someone said that the invitation was made by a student organization with the organization’s money.  This is probably true.  Why would anyone lie about it?

The question is not who issues the invitation, the question is to whom and for what can student organizations in Catholic colleges and universities issue invitations?  The idea that those who run our Catholic colleges and universities have little or no authority to veto such decisions raises another question.  Who’s running our Catholic colleges and universities?

If a school, of any level, is run like a good business, it surely has a business plan, company policies that protect the interest of the business.  Of course, every good business man or woman knows that the best interest of the business is to produce the product that is offers.  In Ex Corde, Pope St. John Paul II, reminds us that

“It is the honor and responsibility of a Catholic University to consecraJOHNPAUL-BABYte itself without reserve to the cause of truth. This is its way of serving at one and the same time both the dignity of man and the
good of the Church.”

This begs the question, “What truth does Planned Parenthood bring to the halls of Catholic academia?”  The very notion that students should be exposed to the arguments for abortion and contraception, as they are exposed to the arguments for natural family planning and the right to be born is ludicrous in the extreme.

A child in school goes through fire drills several times a year; but never through the actual flames.  Why?  Because the idea is to teach the children safety before they are ever exposed to flames, not after.

How many of our college age students have never been exposed to the pro-abortion and pro-contraception ideology that they need to bring in a “prestigious” proselytizer against the right to be born?

lighthouses-lighthouse-looking-wide-open-sea-horizon-cloudThey would be better served by an influential evangelist who proclaims the Gospel of Life without compromise.  After all, don’t we send out young to Catholic colleges and universities to learn the truth or has parenting succumbed to the god of money?  Do parents send their youth to college to learn how to make money or to serve society and save their souls?